


Three rebel angels walk into a bar

by bloodandcream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: and not killing each other, idfk what this is, its kind of just a thought exercise I guess, just three angels hanging out drinking having a conversation, or fucking, or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:58:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1929288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(It sounds like the intro to a bad joke. And it is.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three rebel angels walk into a bar

There’s already a pyramid of upside down shot glasses in the middle of the table. By now the bartender has just left a bottle of vodka with the three figures sitting around it. The bar is mostly empty, one man slouched at the bar, another slumped over a table passed out in the corner. The vodka bottle gets passed around the table again, but the three figures are just drinking straight out of it. A blond haired man leaning back in his chair with a casual pose tips it back and passes it to a red headed woman, who sits with one leg crossed over the other and an elbow propped on the table. She takes a long draw and passes to a man in a rumpled trench coat sitting with straight posture, who proceeds to chug a few shots worth before setting it noisily back on the table.

The blond haired man taps his chin thoughtfully. “What I really want to know is, why. After all these years, you two decide to rebel, for your own reasons. You don’t want to be on heaven’s side. You don’t want to be on my side. Why?”

The dark haired man squinted, studying the label of the vodka bottle like it might have his answers, or at least have different answers from the ones he wanted to avoid.

The red headed woman sighed and looked over at her companion. “I was just curious. And tired. I wanted to know what it was like to….. feel everything. To be something else.”

The blond haired man tips his head in understanding. “And you know who made it possible? For angels to revoke their grace, to choose? You’ve never said thanks you know.”

"Lucifer," She looks at him with sadness, "I suppose I can admit I understand your side of the story a little better now, but I can’t condone the way you went about exerting your free will. "

"You at least agree with me that our dad’s an asshole?"

The dark haired man snorted, picking up the bottle of vodka again while the other two talked.

"Well, I’ve never met him so I’m not going to pass any judgment."

"And a dad that doesn’t show his face to his kids when they’re tearing each other apart, that’s not at least kind of the definition of asshole?"

The dark haired man nods, still clutching the bottle. “I can agree with that.”

The redheaded woman frowns at him and admonishes, “Castiel.” To which he rolls one shoulder and passes her the bottle. She takes it in a slender hand and continues. “He brought you back didn’t he? He’s shown mercy, forgiveness. We might not understand him, but he’s kind.”

Castiel frowns slightly, staring at his hands. “He is not kind to leave us, to our fighting, our squabbling, to leave us to destroy the whole planet, not even a thought for all of his creation that would be destroyed or for the other gods here.”

Lucifer smiled as he listened to Castiel. “See now this, this is good, I can understand this bitterness, it’s what you should feel. You just need to use it.”

"Use it for what? To take your side and cause even more destruction? I still believe in the sanctity of life and the beauty of our father’s creation, even if I can’t believe in him any more."

The red headed woman sipped at the vodka bottle, brow creased in thought.

Lucifer reached over and took it from her, taking a swig before talking. ” The beauty of our father’s creation? We’re the beauty of his creation, we were his most perfect creations, we were his most beloved before they came along. We gave him everything and he cherished us before them, and then what, then he spoiled them and coddled them and he gave them so many things he never gave us. It’s not fair, and they don’t deserve what he gave them. They’re corrupt, stupid, spiteful dirty creatures. Anna, how could you even make yourself one of them?”

"They’re not so bad as you claim. Look at all the marvels they’ve invented, the art they create. You’re acting like a spoilt child."

"A child? A child would cry and throw a tantrum. I, I organized a war against heaven and ignited the spark of independent thought in our brothers, I stood up for what I believed in, I suffered the consequences of my actions and I still hold true to my ideals! Are those the actions of a child? You are the ones who have listened blindly all these years, isn’t your obedience, your faith more childish than my actions?"

Castiel pulled the bottle away from him. “It’s not as though we’re still obedient. But was waging a war and killing thousands of your brethren the only logical conclusion you could reach?”

"Of course not! I pleaded with our father, I talked to our brothers, I didn’t want war but I would not accept servitude. Violence is what they understand, the right of power."

Anna stared glumly at their pyramid of shot glasses. “That’s another reason I left.”

Castiel regarded her, “Then why did you take your grace back?”

"They would have killed me, us, there were more lives to consider than my own."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, leaning forward in his chair and reclaiming the bottle. After a pause, all of them lost in their own reasons, their private justifications, replaying events that couldn’t be changed now and questioning choices that hadn’t seemed like much of a choice at the time, they passed the vodka around until it was empty and waved the bar tender over for another.

Lucifer broke the silence, shaking his head. “You know, I still can’t believe you slept with that dick.”

Anna glared at him. “Dean isn’t a dick.”

Castiel blinked. “He is, actually.”

Lucifer laughed.

Anna stared down the both of them. “He’s nice. He’s a very caring person, even if he’s rough around the edges.”

Castiel squinted. “He is. You know I care deeply for him. But he is also an insufferable ass sometimes.”

Anna rolled her eyes, clearly outnumbered, she knew Castiel was a good friend of Dean’s but given their very opposing personalities she figured they might clash often.

Lucifer took a swig from the bottle and passed it, propping one arm back on his chair. “Now, you know who’s a good kid. That Sam, he thinks for himself, he’s going places.”

Castiel frowned, “He is going to do great things, and he’s going to do them far from you.”

"I don’t know, I bet it would be comfy inside him."

Anna smacked his arm. “New topic.”

Castiel decided the topic he wanted to ruminate was in the bottom of the vodka bottle.

Lucifer looked contemplatively at the ceiling for a moment. “You know what I like. Marshmallows. Humans make a lot of weird things, but marshmallows are pretty good.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, lips parted slightly, face striped with light from the neon bar signs.

"Don’t look at me like that, I know you’ve got a thing for hamburgers."

"My vessel has a thing for hamburgers."

"Same difference."

"No, it’s not."

Anna piped in, “I love marshmallows. Have you ever had s’mores? My family used to go camping every summer and we always made s’mores.”

Lucifer considered this. “I don’t believe I’ve ever had a s’more. What is it?”

"Oh, you roast a marshmallow over a fire and then smoosh it in between graham crackers with a piece of chocolate, everything gets all messy, it’s delicious."

"Interesting."

"I think, that’s what I loved most about being human, the bonds their families form, and their communities. They’re such social creatures. It’s funny, as tight knit as angels are, we never really bond like that. There’s a warmth to humans."

"Please, human history is carved out of wars and conquest. As much love as one family might have, the next will be eager to cut them down for the slightest advantage. I suppose I can admire their viciousness. Although, I still don’t understand why father admired them."

Castiel swayed slightly in his seat. “It’s their potential. Their ambition. Despite the cruelty and hard nature they are capable of feats that should be impossible. Despite suffering, they strive. They have passion. Purpose from within themselves, not without, not dictated by divine law but simply by their own determination.”

They all sat and thought, about the cold hardness of so many angels, driven only by centuries of repetitious dictation from on high, creatures made as soldiers to follow orders absolute and unwavering in their loyalty. Of humans, made flawed, given so much room on their spectrum for great and terrible things, given deep vast emotions and the terrible burden of free will. 

Lucifer heaved himself from his seat, tipping back the bottle for a few seconds, tilting slightly to the left before he declared, ”Sadly, it’s getting kind of late for this old guy. I’ve got an uprising to plan, legions to organize, I’m a busy angel.” Taking one last swig from the bottle and passing it back to Castiel’s waiting hands, Lucifer smiled genuinely at his brethren. They were curious things. Rebels for their own causes. Although it was still a source of bitter resentment for him, the luxuries and kindnesses they were afforded, their refusal to side with him, they were still his brothers. “I’ll see you on the battlefield kids.”


End file.
